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"I could have done that," said the man in the modern-art gallery. Could you reassure me that these numbers don't matter?Anyone who tells you that the internet isn't a popularity contest is conveniently ignoring the fact that the internet is a popularity contest.When we see or hear the words "You may find these images disturbing," we think, "Yeah? If that's something you're unable to keep in check, maybe set up a video camera trained on your face while you view said material, and set up a You Tube channel for the resulting footage called "My Predictably Traumatised Reactions to Stuff". I've heard of anonymous social-media apps such as Secret and Whisper that let you share thoughts you wouldn't dare put your name to. Although whether you'll feel unburdened after receiving the typical response (two "likes" and three anonymous comments from a tenacious pervert) is questionable.For years I've wanted to tell people about a dark secret of mine, and I'm thrilled about the prospect of unburdening myself. To rid yourself of psychological torment, therapy can work wonders – although of course it's significantly more expensive.I explained it away by saying I'd been hacked, but no one believes me. Compromise your own privacy, however, and you'll be a laughing stock. 2) Ingratiating apology: send each person a long, convoluted explanation of the reasons why you're removing them that involves at least one vague reference to a "personal crisis".A tip: take three slow, deep breaths before sending nude pictures of yourself instead of jabbing at the screen with your index finger while panting excitedly. Rich with hidden meaning and an endless source of playful interaction, emoji are an essential addition to written language, and anyone who disagrees deserves an emoji of a sticking-out tongue in reply. Say nothing, and issue no response to those who send you messages of complaint. Then, after engaging each of them in a lengthy discussion about it, apologise, re-add them and curse your impotent actions.

We bookmark links marked "Not Safe For Work" for viewing as soon as work is done. " Our curiosity thus leads us towards dubious material that traditional media wouldn't touch.Facebook issues no specific guidelines on this matter, but the general consensus appears to be that there's absolutely no limit whatsoever. I've tried watching 'Game of Thrones' with my husband, but he live-tweets through every episode, sniggers at all the tweeted gags and tells me them in detail. Essentially, your husband has invited 800 people round to watch Game of Thrones with you, and he probably hasn't even bought in enough snacks.Your options are either to buy another TV for the spare room or get divorced. I just Googled the person I've been dating and have discovered loads of information about them.It can take many forms, from the subtle (unfriending, unfollowing) to the drastic (flinging all your electronic devices into a skip). It's unlikely that you'll miss anything of consequence; yes, you might be desperate to catch up with information, but if information is that important, it'll catch up with you. I think it's meant to be a joke, but it isn't particularly funny – and worse, they can't even spell.The most useful thing to remember is that we don't need to know everything. Should I ignore it or try to do something about it?

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  1. “Eminem casually mentions in an interview he uses Grindr and the reporter DOESN’T follow up?? “am i missing something or is it not obvious the eminem grindr thing was a joke,” one person tweeted.