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“If you choose to (continue that behavior), you choose to (receive whatever consequence has already been established as a punishment)”.
You might say, “Erin, if you choose to poke your sister again, you choose to not watch TV for the rest of the day”.
You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.
Train yourself to say what you want them to do instead of what you don’t. Notice the common element is starting with the word “you” and then acknowledging what they worked at, rather than what you think about it.
Parents tend to want control all of the time, and it takes work to allow kids to have freedom to do what they choose.
” This gives the child respect and responsibility for their actions.
I can’t tell you the number of times I hear that phrase when around other parents, even though it is highly ineffective.
Of course, there will be times when a task must be completed in a certain fashion (homework, etc.).
However, many times we force kids to do something the “right way”, when it could have been done in several ways.